Soul Mates are People Growers. Soulmate is somebody with whom we have a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility. A soulmate is a partner who feels right, thru and thru. With a soulmate, things are improbably easy. We’ve no noise in the signaling. Our cues are picked up, and honored, as they were intended to be. A soulmate feels like our missing half. They make us feel complete. It's a beautiful dream, and one that animates much if not most of our romantic questing. Unfortunately, the dream of the perfect partner is, well, imperfect. First, issues arise even between soulmates. We’ll never know a relation that’s completely free of tension. We’ve no soulmate exemptions. Second, the best and highest purpose of relation may not be to get along well, with a minimum of disruption. It may be precisely the opposite - to challenge us to grow beyond our current limits. These issues require a measure of conflict, unhappiness and tension. Personal growth is factual and valuable. We’re growing. Mostly we’re always growing more. We’re growing more wisdom, more blended, more complete. Personal growth is one of our missions. It’s also a mission of relation. Relations are people growing machines. When we rub up against our partner (not in a way that feels good!), we’re offered an opportunity: to become more than we were. Relations can collapse because of too much conflict, and also because of too little. We might have an unhappiness trap. It can be wise to get out when the going gets too painful. We’ve also a soulmate trap, and as unlikely as it may seem, it can also be the path of wisdom to get out when the going is too easy. The best relations produce pearls out of the grit of conflict - and leaven the challenges with large and frequent doses of laughter, humility and love.

The "Rules" of Touch.
As we grow, touch moves from instinct and natural to have an affect base. Touch starts to carry the "weight" of emotions and manners. Social etiquette steps in. We learn the rules of touch by watching our others.' We watch family members interact with touch. We're also told when it is safe to touch and when not. Judgment is passed on touch. To touch fades from our everyday life when we start to walk and get independent.
As a mobile child, we are soon taught that we have good touches and bad touches. We're not to let any one we don't know touch us. Before most of us learn that, our DNA driven moves us toward anyone with open arms. We're ready for embraces and kisses. Then that behavior is taught out of us. To touch has rules. Touch moves from parents to friends as we grow, thru wrestling and fighting, arm and hand holding, as we make touch part of our play.
As a teenager, touch becomes sexual. Few teenagers receive more than compulsory hugs from their parents. Other touches are limited to hand shakes, until a teenager encounters dating, where touching rules' change again.
As an adult, touch only comes from strangers with hugs and hand shakes, or thru intimate relations. Once we've a family, touch fills our life again thru our children. Then our children start to learn that touch has rules. Til grandchildren enter the stage, most touch will come from one person, our partner, or few people, until we die.

Our Internal Knitting.
Connective tissues ( fascia ) bind our body into a whole. It is the most wide spread tissue in our body. It forms an maze of mesh that links all our body parts. It holds discrete bundles of bones, muscles, organs, etc. How it moves our times to become lively body motion? These will enrich the lush cell value of our varied and vital tissue. It transmits our moves. It gives our muscles lubricants and agents that heal. We enjoy our flex. We love to feel free. So let's focus on connective tissue and muscle fascia.
Muscle fascia do affect our flexibility. Fascia makes up as much as 30% of our total muscle mass. It makes up about 41% of our total muscle resistance to motion. Fascia is the stuff that sorts each of our muscle fibers. Fascia makes a bundle of them into work units. It offers structure and transmits force.
We derive many gains from a fun reach: joint lubrication, better healing, more circulation, and extra mobility. These all relate to salubrious stimulation of our fascia. Of all the basic parts of our body which limit our flexibility, it is the one that we can safely stretch. Most every lively motion does enrich the inner health of each cell of our varied and vital fascia.

Liberate Our Deeper Sense of Who We Are.
Let's carve out time to remove our mask. This is the part of us that's not afraid to be bad. By bad we don't mean evil, but we can allay our "Do - We - Dare" mindset. It feels good to be bad once in awhile because it liberates us from our daily cage. It's also freeing to be bad at some new thing. We are not afraid to go beyond our comfort zone. We'll try some other' thing. Few of us are skilled at driving when we first learn or fluid when first peeping' our new gadget. So we play at our new skill and hit a few wrong notes here and there. Still, they're our wrong notes and we enjoy doing what we do . . . just for us.
The stress of people- pleasing and role playing for others can steal our heart away. It makes us an artificial person. We lose our natural self. Who we think we are is tied into seeing ourselves as unique from others. How do we differ? What is our opinion? What do we enjoy doing? What is the gift we wish to give?
Let's not always resist what just burbles from our innards. Self silencing and stifling to keep "the peace" or hold on to dreams that droop come at a great cost to the health and composure of our body and spirit.
We don't need to say what other's want to hear. Still, we do need to hear what others say to simply reply. Envision how light we'd feel and how freely we'd breathe as we move with others without our role mask.

We're Alive, Always In Flux.
So who are we, independent of our others' and our world? We haven't anything we can point to within ourselves that we can confidently say is a core essence that will Never' change. We might offer our personality, or values, an introvert, a romantic, or that we have a deep love of beauty. Still, these are descriptors of ways we behave or what motivates us. They aren't who we are.
We can go on with this effort, but we don't find anything we can nail down as "Who we are?" All the things we come up with are superficial and impermanent. We don't have anything we can point to within ourselves that we can confidently say is a core essence that will Never' change.
This idea doesn't say we don't exist. If we walked into a wall, our bodies would bump against it and we'd feel pain. Yes we exist! What it means is that we're constantly changing beings. We're always in flux. We're not permanent. We're not fixed entities.

Let's Explore Somatic Sensations.
Trauma is in our nervous system. Our traumas are not in the event. We now know more fully that long term stress causes body changes. These are deeper and deeper body changes. We now know this means that threat stores trauma in our body. We now can make our close care payoff much better. We'll make sure of body orientation. Body and mind links help us ease pains of Post Trauma Stress Disorder and to over come nasty or ugly life events. Tools help care givers help those of us with trauma, expel bound up' life saving energy. These take in immobility, or freeze,' responses. We can become more active in self care. We set a plan of what we need in our daily agenda. We dump our self protective reflex of fight or flight related to our early threats. We loosen our clench on the rousal in our Autonomic Nervous System. Then we return to our center calm.

Our DNA Belief Bundle.
We come into this world with a certain DNA belief bundle. DNA forms our belief bundle in the womb. We have lungs we can't use in the womb. They're created with the DNA belief of breathable air upon birth. We have eyes, which can't see in the womb. They're designed with the DNA belief of sight. Our ears are designed for the DNA belief of sound. Our mouths and tongues for the DNA belief of taste. All parts of our body, including our muscles, gut system, they design all with DNA belief of use outside the womb, but inside, they're useless.
The largest organ in our body is our skin. When we're born, it has the DNA belief of touch. It craves touch. Watch us as a child. We examine everything with our hands and all our senses. With this tactile receptor covering our entire body, the divine designs it to be touched and to touch, awaiting input upon birth. Touch gives us information at first, hot, cold, and texture. Touch gives us information from the moment of birth about our world, including the touch of those who care for us and how they touch us. Many of us have palpable memories of being held by our care givers. Infants deprived of touch after birth usually dies. It isn't much different with us. Touch is part of our DNA belief bundle upon birth. It's usually given by our parents and care givers thruout our lives.