We can repair an attachment bond breach. We say to our care giver, “I am so angry with you that I want to pull out your eyeballs and stab you in the heart.”
The angelic care giver would say, “Oh My! I am so glad you told me this. I had no idea I hurt you so badly.” Then our care giver would say, “Please tell me more about your anger and what it wants to do to me. Let me know what I did to hurt you so much.”
Then we’d tell them exactly those things. Then they’d say, “I am so sorry and I’ll work on not doing that again.” So the topic can be spoken and repaired any time it recurs. We all know it will recur, we’re human. Still, the attachment bond breach is repaired.
As we imagine, this is not common. Most care givers, parents, teachers, bosses, elders, do not want to hear our anger and rage toward them. They want us to be quiet about it and not show our emotions. This is the pattern their care givers used to contain the same problems when they grew up. So then we have generations of impaired relations and impaired emotional closeness. We have generations of lonely people.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Awareness Practice to Stay Connected to Experience.
When we work with the after math of the heart burn of cruel fate we focus on energy rousal. We bypass the memory of clear facts. Some facts can over load us. Energy flow can often return without our need to delve onto the blow by blow facts of the trauma too deeply. We may chew over a return to resiliency. We affirm in a muted and full way of the trauma as we work mostly with clear awareness and image.
Events of trauma often imply a clash with death. As such, they evoke big time,' major responses. Our change toward growth allows us to deepen our sense of self and others. Our long, steep healing path can be a "wakening" to fallow resources and a sense of empowerment. With the help of these new allies, we can open more than one portal to rebirth. We can attain an higher sense of aliveness and flow. What we go thru can genuinely waken our spirit, one that allows us to hook up with our world.
"If we bring forth what is inside of us,
What we bring forth will save us.
If we don't bring forth what's inside us,
What we don't bring forth will destroy us." The Gnostics
Events of trauma often imply a clash with death. As such, they evoke big time,' major responses. Our change toward growth allows us to deepen our sense of self and others. Our long, steep healing path can be a "wakening" to fallow resources and a sense of empowerment. With the help of these new allies, we can open more than one portal to rebirth. We can attain an higher sense of aliveness and flow. What we go thru can genuinely waken our spirit, one that allows us to hook up with our world.
"If we bring forth what is inside of us,
What we bring forth will save us.
If we don't bring forth what's inside us,
What we don't bring forth will destroy us." The Gnostics
Touch Hunger = Neurotic Body Smog - Brain Fog.
Touch hunger is a physiological status with a medical and psychiatric label. It's the failure to thrive' syndrome. Cutaneous deprivation will affect our Immunity, Sleep and Intimacy.
We get fitful, on guard and wary, and suffer a deep, harsh sense of loneliness. We're hyper sensitive to temperature changes as our blood circulation ebbs. Then too, we notice our loss of touch sense. Our skin gets numb. If we seek too much rest, touch hunger causes muscle damage. This shows mostly in our shoulders and back. We're always tensed to ward off one or both pains.
1.) A toxic touch.
2.) A rejection of our need.
If we're physically active, we seem to suffer less of this. A body work out regime keeps our fascia mesh from being stiff and achey. A body work out regime keeps our muscles from atrophy. This same muscle action helps us work off the stress locked in our bodies.
We get fitful, on guard and wary, and suffer a deep, harsh sense of loneliness. We're hyper sensitive to temperature changes as our blood circulation ebbs. Then too, we notice our loss of touch sense. Our skin gets numb. If we seek too much rest, touch hunger causes muscle damage. This shows mostly in our shoulders and back. We're always tensed to ward off one or both pains.
1.) A toxic touch.
2.) A rejection of our need.
If we're physically active, we seem to suffer less of this. A body work out regime keeps our fascia mesh from being stiff and achey. A body work out regime keeps our muscles from atrophy. This same muscle action helps us work off the stress locked in our bodies.
To See Clearly.
What trains our sights on our parallel inner worlds of body, mind, and spirit - where the roots of style lie - to see clearly. Laserlike, it illuminates our inner parts, whether they are muscle, fascia, and fluid or of thought, emotion, and impulse. To see clearly helps us tell apart our thoughts, behaviors, and motions as style. It up grades our ability to query ourselves with cogent focus. From "Why does this happen to me?" We evolve to a query of more depth, such as, "What do these events have to tell me?"
Still, a clear notion of logic that does not travel beyond our mind seldom sets up change. Our body houses our affect depot too. Yet, it might not absorb our insight. Self care acts thru the medium of our body. We see clearly to even deeper levels. Thru self care, we blend and go thru, with our body and heart what we, by logic, know to be true.
Yet even insight isn't enough to break free of old styles. We often have a moment when we're ready to change yet find ourselves held jailed by an unseen force. What is this unseen force? Why does it paralyze us, so maddeningly, just when we're ready to surge ahead?
Still, a clear notion of logic that does not travel beyond our mind seldom sets up change. Our body houses our affect depot too. Yet, it might not absorb our insight. Self care acts thru the medium of our body. We see clearly to even deeper levels. Thru self care, we blend and go thru, with our body and heart what we, by logic, know to be true.
Yet even insight isn't enough to break free of old styles. We often have a moment when we're ready to change yet find ourselves held jailed by an unseen force. What is this unseen force? Why does it paralyze us, so maddeningly, just when we're ready to surge ahead?
Fearlessness - Leap of Faith.
Part of the lure of old styles is the belief that "the devil we know is better than the one we don't." We go out of our way to prefer the familiar to the unknown.
The alluring nature of style contributes to this. It is artful, and magic. It mesmerizes us with endless repetitions of a pattern. It polishes its deep groove. It deftly conceals the fears, needs, and beliefs that lie beneath.
To change styles requires fearlessness. Our leap of faith helps us face the unknown. When we cut off a toxic relation, we might worry if we can find someone else. Yet without the distraction of the relation, we face deeper issues. Do we keep feelings of shame or ugly doubt that lead us into the relation in the first place? Thru our fearless leap of faith, we learn to put up with nasty sense inputs, like grief. We let them pass so we don't resort to the comfort of old styles.
The alluring nature of style contributes to this. It is artful, and magic. It mesmerizes us with endless repetitions of a pattern. It polishes its deep groove. It deftly conceals the fears, needs, and beliefs that lie beneath.
To change styles requires fearlessness. Our leap of faith helps us face the unknown. When we cut off a toxic relation, we might worry if we can find someone else. Yet without the distraction of the relation, we face deeper issues. Do we keep feelings of shame or ugly doubt that lead us into the relation in the first place? Thru our fearless leap of faith, we learn to put up with nasty sense inputs, like grief. We let them pass so we don't resort to the comfort of old styles.
Our Boundary Seeds Move.
Times of ecstasy happen without our effort. They come from hidden places inside our being. They are as normal as our times to sleep and to breathe. We return to our origin and remain where we have always been.
We were conceived in an act of pleasure. Ecstasy is in us by design. The moment the sperm met the egg in our mother's womb the promise of ecstasy arises. It exists inside us right now as a potential force. It's likely to create joy within. It's likely to live a life cut like a wished for jewel. It's likely to reflect who we are, to radiate an energy that heals and enchants. Every step we take carries the possibility of such a wakening. Every breath we take carries the possibility of such a wakening.
We were conceived in an act of pleasure. Ecstasy is in us by design. The moment the sperm met the egg in our mother's womb the promise of ecstasy arises. It exists inside us right now as a potential force. It's likely to create joy within. It's likely to live a life cut like a wished for jewel. It's likely to reflect who we are, to radiate an energy that heals and enchants. Every step we take carries the possibility of such a wakening. Every breath we take carries the possibility of such a wakening.
Our Whole Being Is Right There.
When we just notice, what does occur to our alignment in a particular intimate time or to our breath during body love, our experience deepens. We can be mindful in that same way while loving each other with our whole bodies. It can transform what might seem like a daunting task into a satisfying interlude.
Body love is a fully sensual set of events. We see our loved one. We feel them. We smell them. We even hear them, because we listen to our loved ones body. Our whole being is right there with our loved one.
Just notice what occurs as we find kinds of caresses. We may spawn creative ideas in body love. Let's not be afraid to handle every place and part before we go on. Ask what any body part should feel like when ready. Hold them in our hands. Notice their texture. How does they smell? Are they soft, smooth, hard, rough? Then try to imagine how it might taste and what senses could enhance it. Body love is a blank canvas. Our kind of caresses are our paints. We are the artist.
Body love is a fully sensual set of events. We see our loved one. We feel them. We smell them. We even hear them, because we listen to our loved ones body. Our whole being is right there with our loved one.
Just notice what occurs as we find kinds of caresses. We may spawn creative ideas in body love. Let's not be afraid to handle every place and part before we go on. Ask what any body part should feel like when ready. Hold them in our hands. Notice their texture. How does they smell? Are they soft, smooth, hard, rough? Then try to imagine how it might taste and what senses could enhance it. Body love is a blank canvas. Our kind of caresses are our paints. We are the artist.
Our Boundaries Move.
Our days teach the relation between control and letting go' in many ways. In our usual form, we play by the rules.
Then we embed the form in our muscles and neurons. Only when we've achieved some degree of mastery can, we let go. That's why custom builds the classic test of skill around the question: Do we have the skills to let ourselves be out of control?
We recall our times we took the test that points toward our joyful calm. All the forces of: tradition, timing, fitness and geography "attack" us. As we spar, we give our all. Many weeks pass, and we feel our strength beginning to wane.
We'll have a moment when we have no choice. We give up using our muscles and our will. We let our reflexes, our body, do what they can do on its own. Moving without thought, we best four of our "attackers," before finally being put to the floor by the fifth.
We're sure that we've failed til we hear our inner voice' cheering. We pass with flying colors. Our win' scares us. What will we do next?
The point of our scene is to give us the chance, when faced with unbeatable odds, to recognize that our personal strength is insufficient. We let go. We trust the power that we've built and rehearsed. We've practiced so it will uphold us. It does. Our body, moving on its own, executes our wishes, our urges, natural flow. We yield to the control of no control and find our balance.
Then we embed the form in our muscles and neurons. Only when we've achieved some degree of mastery can, we let go. That's why custom builds the classic test of skill around the question: Do we have the skills to let ourselves be out of control?
We recall our times we took the test that points toward our joyful calm. All the forces of: tradition, timing, fitness and geography "attack" us. As we spar, we give our all. Many weeks pass, and we feel our strength beginning to wane.
We'll have a moment when we have no choice. We give up using our muscles and our will. We let our reflexes, our body, do what they can do on its own. Moving without thought, we best four of our "attackers," before finally being put to the floor by the fifth.
We're sure that we've failed til we hear our inner voice' cheering. We pass with flying colors. Our win' scares us. What will we do next?
The point of our scene is to give us the chance, when faced with unbeatable odds, to recognize that our personal strength is insufficient. We let go. We trust the power that we've built and rehearsed. We've practiced so it will uphold us. It does. Our body, moving on its own, executes our wishes, our urges, natural flow. We yield to the control of no control and find our balance.
Separate And Connected.
If our Protective Millisecond Reactive Husk is about how we're separate, then our spirit is about how we're linked. It will reply to this query. "Who are we that is related to all those others out there?" When we dwell in our PMRH we know that we're unique. When we dwell in our spirit, we know that we're related. We dance with each other. The dance creates us. We're together, a unity. We live alone, to be sure. Still, we're not irreducibly alone. We're also tied together as one whole being. We will indeed die alone, but if we can grasp the truth of our spirit that we're all one beneath the skin, then we die into love.
We note that we'll not suggest that either our PMRH or our spirit is in any way a disembodied being temporarily trapped in our flesh. They're but ways of having a notion, or so, about ourselves and of relating both to ourselves and to the world. They're both needed for our grasp of how it is that we exist. We're separate and we're linked. After all, it takes binocular vision to see depth.
We note that we'll not suggest that either our PMRH or our spirit is in any way a disembodied being temporarily trapped in our flesh. They're but ways of having a notion, or so, about ourselves and of relating both to ourselves and to the world. They're both needed for our grasp of how it is that we exist. We're separate and we're linked. After all, it takes binocular vision to see depth.
Balance Dependence . . . and Independence.
As human infants we're the most helpless mammal on Earth. We fully rely on our care givers to exist. Our label is " We' not me'." As we shift to needed levels of free will,' we start to test the waters of independence. These times are stages when we begin to harbor the notion of a separate "Me." We need to assert a huge dollop of rules over our own lives. We need to form our unique sense of who we are. We need to set up our own ways to choose. Our care givers will hear the word "No" more. We'll assert our own taste and notion of what suits us. With too many "No's" our independence can be stifled. Not enough "No's" leads to poor boundaries. This is a series of steps. It'll help balance our dependence with independence. This goes on thru our early times. It peaks while we boost our search for independence and as we form our identity. We must disengage from primal care givers in preparation for independent living.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
To Manage Affect Flash Backs
1. We say to ourselves: "I am having a flash back." Flash backs take us into a timeless part of our psyche that feels as helpless, hopeless and surrounded by danger as we were in some early time. The affect and senses we go thru are past memories that cannot hurt us now.
2. We remind ourselves: "I feel afraid but I am not in danger! I am safe now, here in this minute." We're now in a safe time zone. We're far from the danger of the past.
3. We own our right and need to have boundaries. Remind ourselves that we do not have to allow anyone to mistreat us. We're free to leave mean scenes and yowl at unfair acts.
4. Speak reassuringly to our Primal heart. It needs to know that we love it unconditionally. Our primal heart can come to us for care and security when it's lost and scared.
5. Deconstruct eternity thinking. In early times, fear and abandonment feels endless. A safer future is impossible. Still, flash backs will pass as they have many times before.
6. Remind ourselves that we are in an adult body. We have allies, skills and resources to protect us that we never had before. To feel small or little is a sure sign of a flash back.
7. Ease back into our body. Fear launches us into "heady" worrying, or glazed numb and frozen space out.'
8. Gently ask our body to relax. Feel each of our major muscle groups. Softly encourage them to relax. (Tightened musculature sends unnecessary danger signals to our brain.)
9. Breathe deeply and slowly. To hold our breath also signals danger.
10. Slow down. To rush presses our psyche's panic button.
11. Find a safe place to unwind and soothe ourselves. We wrap ourselves in a blanket. We hold a stuffed animal. We lie down in a closet or a bath. We take a nap.
12. Feel the fear in our body but just watch it. Fear is just an energy in our body. It cannot hurt us. We'll not run from it. We'll not react with self harm to it.
13. Resist our scolding Grouch catastrophic fear.
(a) Use thought stopping to halt its gross over fear of danger and need to control the uncontrollable. Refuse to shame, hate or give up ourselves. Funnel the anger of self attack into saying "No" to unfair self scorn.
(b) Use thought substitution to replace negative thinking with a written list of our qualities and accomplishments.
14. Allow ourselves to grieve. Flash backs are chances to release old, unexpressed feelings of fear, hurt, and abandonment. Then we validate - and then soothe - our primal heart's past times of helpless hopelessness. Healthy grieving turns our tears into self compassion. It turns our anger into self protection.
15. Push for safe relations and seek support. Take time alone when we need it. Don't let shame isolate us. To feel shame doesn't mean we're shameful. Train those close to us about flash backs. Ask them to help us talk and feel our way thru them.
16. Learn to know and label our kinds of triggers that lead to flash backs. Avoid unsafe people, places, acts and any tricky course of action. Set up preventive maintenance with these steps when triggering scenes are unavoidable.
17. Figure out what we flash back to. Flash backs are a new chance. We find out, make valid and heal our wounds from past misuse and losses. They point to our still unmet growth needs. They can offer a motive to get them met.
18. Stay cool with a slow recovery process. It takes time in the present to become un-adrenalized. It takes ample if not a huge chunk of time in the future to bit by bit lower the nasty, mean affect, length and rate of flash backs.
19. We don't beat ourselves up for having a flash back. Recovery is a bit by bit process - often two steps ahead, one step back.
2. We remind ourselves: "I feel afraid but I am not in danger! I am safe now, here in this minute." We're now in a safe time zone. We're far from the danger of the past.
3. We own our right and need to have boundaries. Remind ourselves that we do not have to allow anyone to mistreat us. We're free to leave mean scenes and yowl at unfair acts.
4. Speak reassuringly to our Primal heart. It needs to know that we love it unconditionally. Our primal heart can come to us for care and security when it's lost and scared.
5. Deconstruct eternity thinking. In early times, fear and abandonment feels endless. A safer future is impossible. Still, flash backs will pass as they have many times before.
6. Remind ourselves that we are in an adult body. We have allies, skills and resources to protect us that we never had before. To feel small or little is a sure sign of a flash back.
7. Ease back into our body. Fear launches us into "heady" worrying, or glazed numb and frozen space out.'
8. Gently ask our body to relax. Feel each of our major muscle groups. Softly encourage them to relax. (Tightened musculature sends unnecessary danger signals to our brain.)
9. Breathe deeply and slowly. To hold our breath also signals danger.
10. Slow down. To rush presses our psyche's panic button.
11. Find a safe place to unwind and soothe ourselves. We wrap ourselves in a blanket. We hold a stuffed animal. We lie down in a closet or a bath. We take a nap.
12. Feel the fear in our body but just watch it. Fear is just an energy in our body. It cannot hurt us. We'll not run from it. We'll not react with self harm to it.
13. Resist our scolding Grouch catastrophic fear.
(a) Use thought stopping to halt its gross over fear of danger and need to control the uncontrollable. Refuse to shame, hate or give up ourselves. Funnel the anger of self attack into saying "No" to unfair self scorn.
(b) Use thought substitution to replace negative thinking with a written list of our qualities and accomplishments.
14. Allow ourselves to grieve. Flash backs are chances to release old, unexpressed feelings of fear, hurt, and abandonment. Then we validate - and then soothe - our primal heart's past times of helpless hopelessness. Healthy grieving turns our tears into self compassion. It turns our anger into self protection.
15. Push for safe relations and seek support. Take time alone when we need it. Don't let shame isolate us. To feel shame doesn't mean we're shameful. Train those close to us about flash backs. Ask them to help us talk and feel our way thru them.
16. Learn to know and label our kinds of triggers that lead to flash backs. Avoid unsafe people, places, acts and any tricky course of action. Set up preventive maintenance with these steps when triggering scenes are unavoidable.
17. Figure out what we flash back to. Flash backs are a new chance. We find out, make valid and heal our wounds from past misuse and losses. They point to our still unmet growth needs. They can offer a motive to get them met.
18. Stay cool with a slow recovery process. It takes time in the present to become un-adrenalized. It takes ample if not a huge chunk of time in the future to bit by bit lower the nasty, mean affect, length and rate of flash backs.
19. We don't beat ourselves up for having a flash back. Recovery is a bit by bit process - often two steps ahead, one step back.
Affect Flash Backs.
We've gone thru steep learning curve times. Times when our affect was skipped over. Times when we misused our strong points or natural gifts. No care giver was available. Times when no support, comfort nor safety comes to us. We long to feel that others like us, welcome us, or listen to us. We long to feel empathy, show warmth, or invite closeness. We long to feel cared about. We seek others so they'll know what we think, feel, do, want, or dream of. We, who go thru this trauma, learn early. No matter how hurt, alien, or terrified we feel, to turn to a care giver will make worse our sense of rejection.
We, who go thru this trauma, see the world as a terrifying place. We're wired to feel scared when left alone. We're wired by DNA to cry and protest to alert our care givers when we are. But when our care givers turn their backs on such cries for help, we're left to cope with a nightmarish inner world - the stuff of which affect loaded flash backs are made.
Friday, December 11, 2009
From Our Spirit to Eros.
Our desire to love always finds a way out of any trap. To keep our desire for love captive for long is not possible. When our desire to love does not come out to make babies, we show our desire to love in every other way. We're money gathering, altruistic, the arts, family nurturing, philosophy, science, politics, empire building, charity, war, abuse, crime . . . you name it. Much of it is good. Some of it is horrid. For better or worse, it is all an aspect of the life force in us. It's the display of our desire. Our great bounty of desire to love is DNA driven. It's built in. We own it.
The key to manage the desire of our spirit of love is not to squelch or medicate it. Let's find a natural channel that will fulfil our deeper urges. This takes some wilful thought. We need a better system of self care. It can help us expand our desire to love in a new, sweet manner.
If we really want to, we can know the truth and be set free, just like Jesus said. The core element in this is our desire. We can open our gate way to the divine if we choose to.
Wounds in Early Times.
Let's plan to reframe affect flash backs. They're a signal series from the wounds of our early times. They're shaped to challenge denial or the ways we ignore our trauma. It is as if we clamor to make valid our past care giver gaps, omissions and misuse. This is how bad it is. We get flooded, in terror, shamed and lost in our own chaos! We feel this too much of the time. When seen in this light, affect flash backs are a signal. They're from our early times. We sense that many of our needs to grow have not been met. Most important among these are the needs for safety and for good enough' attachment. We've no needs with more power than those of a care giver's safety and empathy. Without them we cannot own and develop our habits of self protection and self compassion. They're the corner stones of a healthy ego. As we do not waken to the need for this kind of primal self advocacy, we remain stuck in learned self abandonment. We rarely develop effective resistance to internal or external abuse. We seldom gain the motivation to consistently use the tools to manage affect flash backs.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Soul Mates are People Growers. Soulmate is somebody with whom we have a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility. A soulmate is a partner who feels right, thru and thru. With a soulmate, things are improbably easy. We’ve no noise in the signaling. Our cues are picked up, and honored, as they were intended to be. A soulmate feels like our missing half. They make us feel complete. It's a beautiful dream, and one that animates much if not most of our romantic questing. Unfortunately, the dream of the perfect partner is, well, imperfect. First, issues arise even between soulmates. We’ll never know a relation that’s completely free of tension. We’ve no soulmate exemptions. Second, the best and highest purpose of relation may not be to get along well, with a minimum of disruption. It may be precisely the opposite - to challenge us to grow beyond our current limits. These issues require a measure of conflict, unhappiness and tension. Personal growth is factual and valuable. We’re growing. Mostly we’re always growing more. We’re growing more wisdom, more blended, more complete. Personal growth is one of our missions. It’s also a mission of relation. Relations are people growing machines. When we rub up against our partner (not in a way that feels good!), we’re offered an opportunity: to become more than we were. Relations can collapse because of too much conflict, and also because of too little. We might have an unhappiness trap. It can be wise to get out when the going gets too painful. We’ve also a soulmate trap, and as unlikely as it may seem, it can also be the path of wisdom to get out when the going is too easy. The best relations produce pearls out of the grit of conflict - and leaven the challenges with large and frequent doses of laughter, humility and love.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The "Rules" of Touch.
As we grow, touch moves from instinct and natural to have an affect base. Touch starts to carry the "weight" of emotions and manners. Social etiquette steps in. We learn the rules of touch by watching our others.' We watch family members interact with touch. We're also told when it is safe to touch and when not. Judgment is passed on touch. To touch fades from our everyday life when we start to walk and get independent.
As a mobile child, we are soon taught that we have good touches and bad touches. We're not to let any one we don't know touch us. Before most of us learn that, our DNA driven moves us toward anyone with open arms. We're ready for embraces and kisses. Then that behavior is taught out of us. To touch has rules. Touch moves from parents to friends as we grow, thru wrestling and fighting, arm and hand holding, as we make touch part of our play.
As a teenager, touch becomes sexual. Few teenagers receive more than compulsory hugs from their parents. Other touches are limited to hand shakes, until a teenager encounters dating, where touching rules' change again.
As an adult, touch only comes from strangers with hugs and hand shakes, or thru intimate relations. Once we've a family, touch fills our life again thru our children. Then our children start to learn that touch has rules. Til grandchildren enter the stage, most touch will come from one person, our partner, or few people, until we die.
As we grow, touch moves from instinct and natural to have an affect base. Touch starts to carry the "weight" of emotions and manners. Social etiquette steps in. We learn the rules of touch by watching our others.' We watch family members interact with touch. We're also told when it is safe to touch and when not. Judgment is passed on touch. To touch fades from our everyday life when we start to walk and get independent.
As a mobile child, we are soon taught that we have good touches and bad touches. We're not to let any one we don't know touch us. Before most of us learn that, our DNA driven moves us toward anyone with open arms. We're ready for embraces and kisses. Then that behavior is taught out of us. To touch has rules. Touch moves from parents to friends as we grow, thru wrestling and fighting, arm and hand holding, as we make touch part of our play.
As a teenager, touch becomes sexual. Few teenagers receive more than compulsory hugs from their parents. Other touches are limited to hand shakes, until a teenager encounters dating, where touching rules' change again.
As an adult, touch only comes from strangers with hugs and hand shakes, or thru intimate relations. Once we've a family, touch fills our life again thru our children. Then our children start to learn that touch has rules. Til grandchildren enter the stage, most touch will come from one person, our partner, or few people, until we die.
Our Internal Knitting.
Connective tissues ( fascia ) bind our body into a whole. It is the most wide spread tissue in our body. It forms an maze of mesh that links all our body parts. It holds discrete bundles of bones, muscles, organs, etc. How it moves our times to become lively body motion? These will enrich the lush cell value of our varied and vital tissue. It transmits our moves. It gives our muscles lubricants and agents that heal. We enjoy our flex. We love to feel free. So let's focus on connective tissue and muscle fascia.
Muscle fascia do affect our flexibility. Fascia makes up as much as 30% of our total muscle mass. It makes up about 41% of our total muscle resistance to motion. Fascia is the stuff that sorts each of our muscle fibers. Fascia makes a bundle of them into work units. It offers structure and transmits force.
We derive many gains from a fun reach: joint lubrication, better healing, more circulation, and extra mobility. These all relate to salubrious stimulation of our fascia. Of all the basic parts of our body which limit our flexibility, it is the one that we can safely stretch. Most every lively motion does enrich the inner health of each cell of our varied and vital fascia.
Connective tissues ( fascia ) bind our body into a whole. It is the most wide spread tissue in our body. It forms an maze of mesh that links all our body parts. It holds discrete bundles of bones, muscles, organs, etc. How it moves our times to become lively body motion? These will enrich the lush cell value of our varied and vital tissue. It transmits our moves. It gives our muscles lubricants and agents that heal. We enjoy our flex. We love to feel free. So let's focus on connective tissue and muscle fascia.
Muscle fascia do affect our flexibility. Fascia makes up as much as 30% of our total muscle mass. It makes up about 41% of our total muscle resistance to motion. Fascia is the stuff that sorts each of our muscle fibers. Fascia makes a bundle of them into work units. It offers structure and transmits force.
We derive many gains from a fun reach: joint lubrication, better healing, more circulation, and extra mobility. These all relate to salubrious stimulation of our fascia. Of all the basic parts of our body which limit our flexibility, it is the one that we can safely stretch. Most every lively motion does enrich the inner health of each cell of our varied and vital fascia.
Liberate Our Deeper Sense of Who We Are.
Let's carve out time to remove our mask. This is the part of us that's not afraid to be bad. By bad we don't mean evil, but we can allay our "Do - We - Dare" mindset. It feels good to be bad once in awhile because it liberates us from our daily cage. It's also freeing to be bad at some new thing. We are not afraid to go beyond our comfort zone. We'll try some other' thing. Few of us are skilled at driving when we first learn or fluid when first peeping' our new gadget. So we play at our new skill and hit a few wrong notes here and there. Still, they're our wrong notes and we enjoy doing what we do . . . just for us.
The stress of people- pleasing and role playing for others can steal our heart away. It makes us an artificial person. We lose our natural self. Who we think we are is tied into seeing ourselves as unique from others. How do we differ? What is our opinion? What do we enjoy doing? What is the gift we wish to give?
Let's not always resist what just burbles from our innards. Self silencing and stifling to keep "the peace" or hold on to dreams that droop come at a great cost to the health and composure of our body and spirit.
We don't need to say what other's want to hear. Still, we do need to hear what others say to simply reply. Envision how light we'd feel and how freely we'd breathe as we move with others without our role mask.
Let's carve out time to remove our mask. This is the part of us that's not afraid to be bad. By bad we don't mean evil, but we can allay our "Do - We - Dare" mindset. It feels good to be bad once in awhile because it liberates us from our daily cage. It's also freeing to be bad at some new thing. We are not afraid to go beyond our comfort zone. We'll try some other' thing. Few of us are skilled at driving when we first learn or fluid when first peeping' our new gadget. So we play at our new skill and hit a few wrong notes here and there. Still, they're our wrong notes and we enjoy doing what we do . . . just for us.
The stress of people- pleasing and role playing for others can steal our heart away. It makes us an artificial person. We lose our natural self. Who we think we are is tied into seeing ourselves as unique from others. How do we differ? What is our opinion? What do we enjoy doing? What is the gift we wish to give?
Let's not always resist what just burbles from our innards. Self silencing and stifling to keep "the peace" or hold on to dreams that droop come at a great cost to the health and composure of our body and spirit.
We don't need to say what other's want to hear. Still, we do need to hear what others say to simply reply. Envision how light we'd feel and how freely we'd breathe as we move with others without our role mask.
We're Alive, Always In Flux.
So who are we, independent of our others' and our world? We haven't anything we can point to within ourselves that we can confidently say is a core essence that will Never' change. We might offer our personality, or values, an introvert, a romantic, or that we have a deep love of beauty. Still, these are descriptors of ways we behave or what motivates us. They aren't who we are.
We can go on with this effort, but we don't find anything we can nail down as "Who we are?" All the things we come up with are superficial and impermanent. We don't have anything we can point to within ourselves that we can confidently say is a core essence that will Never' change.
This idea doesn't say we don't exist. If we walked into a wall, our bodies would bump against it and we'd feel pain. Yes we exist! What it means is that we're constantly changing beings. We're always in flux. We're not permanent. We're not fixed entities.
So who are we, independent of our others' and our world? We haven't anything we can point to within ourselves that we can confidently say is a core essence that will Never' change. We might offer our personality, or values, an introvert, a romantic, or that we have a deep love of beauty. Still, these are descriptors of ways we behave or what motivates us. They aren't who we are.
We can go on with this effort, but we don't find anything we can nail down as "Who we are?" All the things we come up with are superficial and impermanent. We don't have anything we can point to within ourselves that we can confidently say is a core essence that will Never' change.
This idea doesn't say we don't exist. If we walked into a wall, our bodies would bump against it and we'd feel pain. Yes we exist! What it means is that we're constantly changing beings. We're always in flux. We're not permanent. We're not fixed entities.
Let's Explore Somatic Sensations.
Trauma is in our nervous system. Our traumas are not in the event. We now know more fully that long term stress causes body changes. These are deeper and deeper body changes. We now know this means that threat stores trauma in our body. We now can make our close care payoff much better. We'll make sure of body orientation. Body and mind links help us ease pains of Post Trauma Stress Disorder and to over come nasty or ugly life events. Tools help care givers help those of us with trauma, expel bound up' life saving energy. These take in immobility, or freeze,' responses. We can become more active in self care. We set a plan of what we need in our daily agenda. We dump our self protective reflex of fight or flight related to our early threats. We loosen our clench on the rousal in our Autonomic Nervous System. Then we return to our center calm.
Trauma is in our nervous system. Our traumas are not in the event. We now know more fully that long term stress causes body changes. These are deeper and deeper body changes. We now know this means that threat stores trauma in our body. We now can make our close care payoff much better. We'll make sure of body orientation. Body and mind links help us ease pains of Post Trauma Stress Disorder and to over come nasty or ugly life events. Tools help care givers help those of us with trauma, expel bound up' life saving energy. These take in immobility, or freeze,' responses. We can become more active in self care. We set a plan of what we need in our daily agenda. We dump our self protective reflex of fight or flight related to our early threats. We loosen our clench on the rousal in our Autonomic Nervous System. Then we return to our center calm.
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