Our Sense of Our Dynamic.

The Two of Us Build Inter Actions So All Our Options Grow. Our relation styles are DNA and 'hidden event' shaped. Via temperament and training we build our style. We express our relation styles in great arcs.
Our relation style, and traces of our past, set up the options we know about and which ones we choose.
They shape the acts we choose. We shape what we expect. We shape what sense data we take in. We grow inter twined, cause and effect cycles of inter active logic and affect styles of our relations. These become our legacy.
Then we forge our gifts to ongoing inter actions with others.
We have our sense of self. We have our sense of our ‘other.’ Our sense of our dynamic ‘tween’ our self with our ‘other,’ is inter action.
All this comes forth from scenes we share. We have scenes that we cannot explain if we refer to just one of us alone.

Active Moments Unwind.

The Two of Us Build Inter Actions . . . So All Our Options Grow.

Our relation is the origin of our psychic structure.
The process of our relations with our ‘others’ changes us toward growth.

From the division of our first cells, we engage in lively care . . . to actively build . . . both our inter personal and our subjective worlds.

We build, thru the two of us, our selves, as active moments unwind. This begins at birth. This goes on thruout our life cycle.

We are who we relate with.

Far Below Our Awareness.

The Two of Us Build Inter Actions So All Our Options Grow.
We change toward growth as we act upon each other.
This inter action labels us as "together." It tells us the nature of the ultra blended view we create. We have our moment to moment affect inter change. This, ‘tween care givers and care receivers, raises our best growth.

We focus on the mutual give n take of our efforts to grow.

We, by intuition, balance both of our active roles.

We focus and build the inter play that we both seek and enjoy. As a prime pay off, we grow habits and skills far beyond our awareness.

Dangling, Needy and Uncertain.

We do seek each other, often two or three times a day. Still, we find no steady ‘get together’ pattern. We care enough not to put our ‘others’ into an emotional tail spin. Aren’t we both feeling vulnerable and foolish and abashed?? These feelings come precisely since we confide all this to each other?
We commend each other when one of us opens up. We’re guides for each other, for godssake! We can't be vulnerable, foolish, and embarrassed with each other?? If not then with WHOM??
We chuckle and enjoy that we’re dangling out there, needy and uncertain. We see it as a vast improvement. This over the serious professional we used to know. This over when we fought back our tears and never needed help.
We look forward to confiding in each other.

Fumbles are a Part.

Let’s stop feeding our dragon. Let’s snuggle and nestle with our own inner skills and beauty. We cannot create self esteem by always telling ourselves that we are awesome. We can note which tactics and skills serve us well.
Esteem of self and respect for self grow out of devoted effort. Whether or not we succeed, it builds our needed pluck and spunk. We know that we try our best. We keep on trying. We keep on working with our assets. We will finally succeed. Mastery of self does arise out of our effort. It’s the prelude of success.
We have long known that depression and apathy damage our immune system. They lead to serious disease. We also know that when we give up on ourselves and become a victim, we deny ourselves the power to grow and change. We stay stuck in our own frailty. But that paralysis is our barrier. It stops us from making an effort.
We know that fumbles are a central part of mastery, not reasons for penalty. Yet without our tincture of effort, our power remains uncouth and unused. The outcome is a shakey first level, root, basic distrust.

Uncertainty and Vulnerability.

We still find ways to cope. We reach out each day to our lover. We show an intimate, open heart. We ask them to mentor us for back up and care. Just because we show an intimate, open heart and serve as role model doesn't mean that we can't ask for help. We’re not afraid to reveal our own uncertainty and vulnerability during dark times. We learn to ask for help thru trial and error.
When we begin to show an intimate, open heart of self care, our ego pushes to do well. We do fear our body pain or fatigue or both. Our limits cause us to show an intimate, open heart from a place of uncertainty and unsteadiness. We come to accept the fear we go thru when we need to ask others for help.

Each Part of Each Day Keeps Coming

Because of karma, bad luck or misfortune, in our days on Earth, our pain stays with us or our fatigue stays with us . . . or both. In turn, this sets up a range of body slug fests. We also tussle with bouts of depression and the inevitable forces of aging.
Still, our desire to show an intimate, open heart stays more alive. We long for heart felt honesty to our ‘others.’ We want the ways we do self care to be embraced each day. We use our self care tactics to take our thoughts and beliefs into the world. We seek to touch others.
For some of us, the rigor of each day is not a random event. It’s a way of life. We show an intimate, open heart to both abled and disabled ‘others.’ We’re no stranger to pain. We learn how to manage it in our agenda. We learn how to show it in our simple creature candor.

The Land of Times Past.

We often liken grief to the seasons of the year. Once our losses occur, we are never the same. We are different. At times we’re even better. Still, the self we knew is forever gone. Our "gone" or former self went with our loss. Our new found self remains here with our surviving moments.
"Our losses do not come forth. They dwell in the land of times past ... "
It is so hard to see our family and friends as they age, marry, and have children, for our losses do not change. Harder still, for us, is to attend those weddings and baptisms. It takes a great deal of courage to attend those events. They are constant and cruel reminders of what we have lost. Our losses are frozen in time, never to age. Other parts of our lives grow, mature and reap progress. The potential we once dreamed stays unchanged, not fully formed, static . . . without age.

Verge on Self Hatred.

Too often we believe that we are our problem. Then we often have a desire to pick at ourselves. As if by doing so we could expose how bad we really are. We focus on our skills. Couldn’t we just admit the awful truth about ourselves? Maybe then we would start to feel better. It’s almost as if we have to go to confession. Can we have our sins absolved? Going more deeply into our problems can be just another variant on trying to get rid of them altogether. Can we go back to a state of original purity? Can we return to the garden of Eden? While most care givers would probably deny a religious influence on our thinking, many often cling unconsciously with this mode of thought. To go more deeply into our problem is a usual approach. It can lead, at best, to a kind of sober honesty and humility. This will give us a quiet strength of character.
To go more deeply into our problems is, at times, to go only into what we already know. It can lead, at worst, to a kind of jaded pessimism about ourselves. It can lead to a resigned negativity that verges on self hatred. We don’t have to go looking for problems. Our unresolved issues would come rushing in to fill every space. We might have more success in not being sucked in by them with better care around us. We feel we need to come out of our problems, not go to them more deeply. Our care givers need not get in our way in that regard. To be over whelmed will not be useful.