Verge on Self Hatred.

Too often we believe that we are our problem. Then we often have a desire to pick at ourselves. As if by doing so we could expose how bad we really are. We focus on our skills. Couldn’t we just admit the awful truth about ourselves? Maybe then we would start to feel better. It’s almost as if we have to go to confession. Can we have our sins absolved? Going more deeply into our problems can be just another variant on trying to get rid of them altogether. Can we go back to a state of original purity? Can we return to the garden of Eden? While most care givers would probably deny a religious influence on our thinking, many often cling unconsciously with this mode of thought. To go more deeply into our problem is a usual approach. It can lead, at best, to a kind of sober honesty and humility. This will give us a quiet strength of character.
To go more deeply into our problems is, at times, to go only into what we already know. It can lead, at worst, to a kind of jaded pessimism about ourselves. It can lead to a resigned negativity that verges on self hatred. We don’t have to go looking for problems. Our unresolved issues would come rushing in to fill every space. We might have more success in not being sucked in by them with better care around us. We feel we need to come out of our problems, not go to them more deeply. Our care givers need not get in our way in that regard. To be over whelmed will not be useful.